Tamil Nadu’s Vain Political Shadow – Square and Straight

Will the R K Nagar by-poll sound the death knell of Dravida Politics? An imagined conversation.

Will the R K Nagar by-poll sound the death knell of Dravida Politics? An imagined conversation.
Will the R K Nagar by-poll sound the death knell of Dravida Politics? An imagined conversation.

Will Tamil Nadu’s ongoing RK Nagar by-election political convulsions cause a national political realignment?

[dropcap color=”#008040″ boxed=”yes” boxed_radius=”8px” class=”” id=””]F[/dropcap]ollowing the demise of the charismatic Jayalalithaa Jayaram on December 5 2016, this Tamil Nadu assembly constituency is currently unrepresented. But elections are underway.

The aftermath political developments are happening fast, we neither have the time to stand nor to stare at the forthcoming by elections in Chennai’s little known, dust blown assembly constituency – RK Nagar. 

A familiar voice was reciting the famous poem by WH Davies.

“What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.”

It was the political fixer ‘MG’ seated facing the entrance within the smoking room of the Press Club in Delhi’s Raisina Road. He was educating a north Indian about TN politics.  As usual, MG’s nursed a cocktail. It had a strange hue – indigo – or purple.

“Kindly elaborate your English poetic riddle,” the info seeker said in a treacly, flattering tone.

“Life is so full of care. It’s odd absence in a hospital during the last days of the south’s political heavyweight – now sadly deceased – Jayalalithaa rankles even more. The aftermath political developments are happening fast, we neither have the time to stand nor to stare at the forthcoming by elections in Chennai’s little known, dust blown assembly constituency – RK Nagar. On April 12, the Election Day the death knells will begin tolling for Dravidian brand of politics. One can only stare at its lifeless state and rue,” Minimum Guarantee said.

“It is a preposterous thing to say. Jaya has left behind a vibrant political body to carry her cherished legacy forward,” I reacted.

“The only body left behind by Jayalalithaa’s is the one interred in a grave at the Chennai seafront..Her legacy is that of a footnote of a posthumously convicted political criminal. Her so-called successors are working towards the singular purpose of destroying the other competitors from the same stable. Significantly, the opposition DMK’s political lightweight nominee will win facilely,” the pundit averred.

“It is too early to predict the result,” I muttered in protest.

“There are 62 candidates in the fray. The ruling AIADMK rump has to get some ‘independent’ candidate of this bumped off to cause countermanding and thus to augment longevity of its illegal existence. Notwithstanding that possibility, the whole house of cards could collapse after someone chats with the souls of MGR, Jayalalithaa or even Anna Durai, the DMK founder who died in 1987, 2016 and 1969 respectively,” the fixer observed.

The ‘fixer’ is a spitting image of the late Prime Minister Indira Gandhi’s flunkey, Makhan Lal FotedarThe political lobbyist is known as MG which is an acronym of Maha Guru and/or Minimum Guarantee. “The longer form of MG changes depending on the time, occasion, location and significance of each of my operations,” the man loves to tell those foolish enough to listen. “One thing is always certain. MG does not stand for Mahatma Gandhi because I love my liquor and flaunt my cocktails,” is a constant line muttered occasionally during his con—corny-conversations often, found citing own aphorisms terming and them as the Holy Minds’ Voices, he is also referred to with the sobriquet – HMV.

“Allow me to quote WH Davies verbatim here.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

[dropcap color=”#008040″ boxed=”yes” boxed_radius=”8px” class=”” id=””]W[/dropcap]hy would 122 MLAs heed Sasikala Natarajan – currently “standing beneath the boughs” in a Bangalore prison and staring at oblivion like a sheepish cow? The obvious answer: every political player hopes to get a decent share of – Jayalalithaa’s alleged stashed wealth abroad – believed to be a little more than Rs.3 lakh crores ($46.12 billion). So far, a sum said to be around Rs.1600 crores ($246 million) has reportedly changed hands already,” the man said with a guffaw.

The grapevine has it that the deposed CM O Panneerselvam had been promised 10% of the ‘secretly squirreled cash stash’ by Sasikala to propose her as the GS and CM candidate.

“That is complete hearsay sans a shred of evidence,” I protested.

“The grapevine has it that the deposed CM O Panneerselvam had been promised 10% of the ‘secretly squirreled cash stash’ by Sasikala to propose her as the GS and CM candidate. OPS kept his end of the bargain, but Sasikala balked. So, he walked to Jaya’s grave, meditated and felt agitated enough to begin selectively leaking gaps in the Jaya death narrative. The results of the by poll will expose OPS’s pipedream as well,” the fixer announced.

MG’s predictions are of the Nostradamus variety. They are puzzling and can be indicated as prophesies of any eventuality.Thanks to his somewhat archaic language, he also is derisively called Long Playing Old Record [LPOR], cassette tape [CT] video-cassette-disc [VCD]. His actions have earned him other epithets. Some of them are political predicament predictor [PPP1], fixer-of the deadly instigation [FDI2], Doddering Lying Fixer [DLF3] and first-class rascally abomination [FCRA4].

“I understood so far, but what will happen to all that money,” the north Indian political greenhorn asked.

“You really need to understand Davies’ lines.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

Anything can happen to Sasikala before she sees broad daylight, skies and stars at night. Meanwhile, Apollo hospice’s selfish selfie clean-chit’s Swiss cheese-like inbuilt holes could cause Jaya’s body to be exhumed for the sake of forensically establishing the time of death. What is found or is found missing will leave yolk dripping from the mugs of a host of doctors, several central government entities and that British embalming specialist Dr Beale who claimed to be a cardiac specialist,” VCD observed.

This was becoming too controversial. I tried a different tack.

“Everyone knows that PM Modi placed his right hand to bless Sasikala during Jaya’s funeral. Obviously she has or had Modi’s blessings,” I argued.

“Listen to what Davies finally said:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare. 

None has the time to wait for Sasikala to choose the hour to open her mouth or her purse. The DMK wants power in a jiffy.TN unit of the BJP would want a crack at wielding power with the support of turncoats from the Palanisamy camp. After all, wasn’t something similar worked out in Goa and Manipur?” FCRA quipped with a guffaw.

“Why would AIADMK politicians levitate to the BJP which has no base in TN?” I registered my somewhat feeble protest.

“For AIADMK mainstays, finding an excuse to be in any camp is as easy as falling off a log or climbing on to a slow-moving political tramcar,” PPP cackled in response.

“It would still not get the BJP its ground strength or the money from Sasikala,” I averred.

“Sasikala’s next cell is occupied by a female murderess! Didn’t Chennai techie Swathi’s killer Ram Kumar die mysteriously in Puzhal Prison? To avoid nemesis striking her suddenly, Sasikala may try to buy her way out. The money taken off her … could actually change the political game in Tamil Nadu. If Thirunaavukkarasar, the current TN unit boss of the Congress can levitate from the AIADMK to the BJP, be a central minister thru a RS seat from MP and finally cock a snook at Modi to go to the Congress, anything is possible in the shifting political quicksand of Tamil Nadu,” DLF spoke in a grim voice, colder than that of the devil.

I had had enough.

“Your drink has a strange colour,” I interpolated to obviously change the subject.

“It is called ‘Indigo’. It contains two types of liqueurs called Curaçao with a dash of Gin and a small dose of E133 dye or Brilliant Blue FCF that lends the purple colour is used in various ‘edible stuff like mouthwash liquid. Britain’s wealth during colonial times was through opium cultivated in India under the guise of indigo plantations. Laws prevented East India Company ships from carrying opium to China. The drug was termed a textile dye and smuggled into China from Bengal by traffickers and agency houses such as Jardine, Matheson & Co and Dent & Co. Riches derived thus helped Britain to kick-start other ambitious projects. Significantly, India’s real struggle for freedom under Gandhi began in Champaran – now in Bihar – where he fought the case of Indigo farmers. The move ultimately resulted in success and also resulted in Gandhi’s murder.”

“What has that got to do with what I asked – the drink?”

“In the 16th century tasty and juicy oranges were brought to the island of Curaçao by Spanish colonizers. The fruit, however, struggled to survive in the dry tropic climate and the fruits were stunted and bitter. A few years later, someone noticed that the skin of these oranges contained an aromatic ingredient to flavour oils and essences. The oily liqueur – Curacao was the next natural step. One can keep arguing as to which state administers the nation Curaçao – a self regime or the one in Suriname or the Netherlands. Indigo is also one of India’s largest private airlines said to be part owned by Sonia Gandhi’s son-in-law Robert Vadra. Like the indigo dye alibi helped Britain’s drug trade and in turn strengthened the illegal colonial rule, Indigo Airline’s hailed punctuality helps hide its hideous political connections. The Indian National Congress – now a private limited company owned by Sonia Gandhi and family was begun by the colonial British, to facilitate their facile departure. A dying dye proved to be a living camouflage. In a nutshell, that signifies the colour of my drink, its name and finally its taste, all in one smooth seamless manner!”

The Delhi dunderhead dressed in Khadi broke into Punjabi and exclaimed, “Sirji, tussi great ho!”

Not wishing to hear more flattery, I mumbled an excuse and escaped.

[1] The commonly known expansion of PPP is Purchasing Power Parity. Else, in the subcontinent, it stands for Public-Private-Partnership and Pakistan Peoples’ Party

[2] Often FDI denotes Foreign Direct Investment.

[3] The acronym DLF is a company incorporated in India in the year 1946 under the name and style Delhi, Land & Finance.

[4] FCRA is the short form of a law in India meant to regulate funds received from abroad for non-commercial purposes – or Foreign Contribution Regulation Act 2010.

Note:
1. The conversion rate used in this article is 1 USD = 65.05 Rupees.
2. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
3. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

Lazy Fly is a parody of the by line Busy Bee, someone who taught the fly about the birds and bees of journalism at an early age.
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3 COMMENTS

  1. As the name of the author of the article suggest, a lazy attempt. Total futile article, never expected this from PG. There is no substance, only poems . Readers can skip this article for good, nothing meaningful or interesting or reasonable. What is with the fetishization of poems, liqor etc?

  2. நல்லாக்கீதே நைனு! கூவம் நதிக்கரையினிலே மார்தி கீதுன்னு மட்டும் உன் மூளயோட மூலைக்கு எட்டுது ஆனாக்க கட்ரை பிர்யல்லன்ற!

    டமாஸ அளவோட ஸெய்யி, நைனு!

    பிர்யணும்னாக்க கிளாஜு எட்கிறேன். பீஸு எவ்ளோ தர்வ?

    நான் கூட துக்ளக் பத்திரிகையில வெங்கட்ன்ற பெயர்ல வாராவாரம் எழுதிகினு தான் கீறேன்!

  3. ஒன்னும் புரியலை….சும்மா குன்ஸா கூவம் நதி கரையிநிலே ஜக்கு மாதி ரி அடி ச்சு விட் டு இருகீங்க…

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