My New Letter Series – Dear Caretaker PM Anwar ul Haq Kakar

Keep trying, Anwar bhai, maybe one of these days, Sri Lanka will give you a loan to straighten your country!

December 4, 2023

Dear Anwar ul Haq Kakar,

Kakar Saab, you need to travel to countries and see who, among them, will invest in your country. The first country that you need to visit is the US of A. Ole Joe will be more than happy to meet with you and find areas of common interest, like Artificial Intelligence (AI), Space Research, Outer Space Travel, and many other areas that are of common interest to the two of you. I mean, Ole Joe is already using AI, to compensate for Natural Stupidity; Ole Joe also seems to be currently traveling in Outer Space, given some of his incomprehensible moves. What moves, you ask? Where do I start with some of his “interesting” moves? Sending 50 bn USD to help Ukraine, while people in the US of A are struggling to make ends meet; we are going thro’ a tough time here with unemployment, price rise, and other small stuff. He would probably give you 50 bn USD, too!! What? You already came here and Joe didn’t even meet with you? Wow, AI seems to be working!! I mean, Aww, that’s not good!!!

Ok, why not visit the UK? After all, Rishi Sunak’s grandfather (or was it great grandfather?) was born in Pakistan! Granted, that birth happened when Pakistan wasn’t even born, but that is just semantics!! He must have some sort of bonding with your country, for that specific reason! Ok, so what if the area that the Great Grandfather was born in is now completely demolished and a mosque has been built in that place? So what if the area is inhabited by “Kashmiri freedom fighters”? Given he has connections to that area, Rishi would probably invite you to dinner at his house!! After all, he did invite Indian Foreign Minister, Dr S Jaishankar to dinner on Diwali! Along with his wife!! You’re the PM! Of Pakistan, no less!! NO, ARE YOU KIDDING? You went there and Rishi REFUSED TO MEET WITH YOU??? What does Rishi think of himself? A PM (even if that’s a Caretaker PM) should at least get some respect!! After all, ALL PMs’ are caretaker PMs’!! Some are there for 6 months, others for 3 years, and some others for 10 years!!

Ok, idea!! I get those when I have a couple of beverages (alcoholic)! I’m sure your Army Chief knows what I’m talking about!! Anyways, go to China, your all-weather friend!! They have enough money to bail you out of the terrible situation that your country is in! Let’s rephrase that! China has enough money to invest in the wonderful industries that are thriving in your country! What! I am wrong again! , They already invested in your country and the industries have shut down?? YESSS! I mean, Awww, that’s terrible!

Well, how about Saudi Arabia and/ or the UAE? After all, they’re also Muslim Umma (brethren). Oil Rich and rolling in money! They have enough money to buy luxuries for each and every person in your country! Luxuries that already exist in your country! Albeit with a select few people but, again, that’s merely symantics! Luxuries like food, clothing, shelter!! Wow, you’re smart!! You realized I missed employment! I deliberately left that out! After all, when people have food, clothing and shelter, who needs a job!! It isn’t like people in your esteemed country are employed currently! Anyways, employment is vastly overrated! What does employment get you? Food, clothing, shelter? That’ll be provided by the KSA and the UAE!! Why work? What!! I must be having a really bad day! You went to these countries? Did you at least ask them to give your people jobs in THEIR COUNTRIES?? What? WHAT? THEY HAVE STOPPED GIVING VISAS TO PEOPLE FROM YOUR COUNTRY??? WHY? Oh wow, because most of your “highly educated” population is involved in begging in those countries! Isn’t that also a form of employment? Small business, if you will!! Some work as CEOs of Google, IBM, Microsoft, Pepsi, YouTube and other equally small organizations, while others work in KSA and the UAE as, well, beggars! Still, that’s employment, right?

You should attend the COP28 meeting. It’s very possible that you can strike up a friendship with someone like, the Italian PM, Giorgia Meloni, who could influence other EU members! WHAT! She’s a close friend of the Indian PM? What does the Indian PM think of himself? Can’t he leave some people for you to make close allies? Well, look, COP28 is only for those countries that have environmental pollution! Carbon, lack of trees and other stuff! That, fortunately, doesn’t exist in your country! Granted, carbon emissions are from cars that use gasoline, and your country doesn’t have any gasoline reserves, but still, you can claim to be emission free!! My dear friend Immi made sure to plant a billion trees, that’s saving the environment! What! People cut those trees down to use as fuel to cook and keep themselves warm??? Oh wow! You’re there already and they made you stand in the last row! Modi stood in the first row, and in the center? Really? What does Modi have that you don’t?? Don’t answer, that’s a rhetorical question!!

Anwar saab, there are other countries that you can visit, like Japan or the Netherlands! After all, Japan is highly industrialized and can afford to employ your people! I REALLY MUST BE HAVING A BAD DAY!! You did try and the Japanese laughed!! What about the Netherlands? Oh, Geert Wilders won’t allow your people in and is deporting those already there? Oh wow, that’s great! I mean, Aww, that’s terrible!!

Keep trying, Anwar bhai, maybe one of these days, Sri Lanka will give you a loan to straighten your country! Granted, they themselves are coming out of bankruptcy but keep your hopes up! After all, they do have 3.5 billion USD (without any foreign aid). They will probably reach 10 billion USD by the end of 2024!!

Note:
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

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