Dear Shehbaz Sharif,
Shabby, what a speech at the World Economic Forum recently!! Wow!! All the economic leaders could change the fortunes of any country in 5 minutes! All they needed to do was to write a cheque and the country’s future would change overnight. I have to give your speech writer(s) kudos for the brilliant work and hours put in for this masterpiece.
You were there to highlight the reason(s) these dignitaries should invest in your country. And you did exactly that! You talked about the “death” trap (debt trap) your country is currently in. That was a smart use of the English language, Shabby! You also talked about how your country was facing inflation of about 36% and a very high unemployment rate. Think about this, Shabs: can India claim this? Nope! You’ve got them beat there. Education has never been your country’s priority and you did, again subtly, mention this. If I were you, I’d talk about the fact that, even with education not being the best, your doctors and engineers are shining examples around the world. Like the doctor, who got a fellowship in the US of A. So what if he’s in jail for funding the terror groups out in your country! He was sending valuable USD to your country and once again, India can’t claim that!! All selling points give a high level of comfort to these investors! In a very subtle way, good job with that, you pointed to the crime rate in your country. Your speechwriter deserves a special award for that brilliant speech assisting you in your endeavors to get investors interested in your country!!
Shabby, the next thing you need to do is to go to Harvard and tell them what a brilliant job the PITJANA (Pakistan Institute of Technology, Journalism And Nuclear Administration), also known as Madrasas, are doing. Things like educating the millions of people in your country with all the unbelievable technological achievements like blowing people up for no reason, and blasphemy allegations when one doesn’t like his/ her manager!! These are things that would definitely get Harvard and other elite universities to set up campuses in your country. Or even better, have the madrasas set up shop at the elite universities! Beat that IIT!! IIT setting up a campus in the Middle East is nothing compared to what your country would achieve with what I have mentioned above!!
While you are in the US, why not visit the various hospitals and tell them about the incredible benefits the various Hakeems in your country are giving the population. Tylenol and Paracetamol don’t hold a candle to rats’ tails and cats’ feet! Is it the other way around? Are you sure? Well, look at me asking you whether you are right!! We don’t call them rats here in the US of A. We are a little snobby about this and call them mice! The Hakeem would definitely tell me the taste is the same! Hospitals are basically of no use to the people anyway!! The money they charge for an emergency room visit is unbelievable! Hakeem would charge 1% of that amount and would treat the patient with magic! Okay, some would call it a sham but the point is, you attracted the hospitals to hire these Hakeems!! They would bring something else to the drab and calm(some would call this morose) hospitals with Hakeem blowing ash in people’s faces, patients eating mice feet and cat’s tails!! At least brings a level of excitement and entertainment into the morose patients even more morose existence!!! Think about the conversations they’d have with their family! “Guess what I had for dinner? Please guess because I don’t have a clue what I ate. The “doctor” was some guy from Pakistan who told me what I was eating was a cat’s behind”!!
Shabby, you and your brother, Nozzy, are exactly what your country needs. The damage done by Immi and the gang needs to be undone. While that will need a monumental effort, you really have started off on the right track. You need to start from scratch! So what if that means your country has gone back to the stone ages! It’s not like they were technologically advanced till you took over!! I mean, let’s face it, technology and your country are as far apart as meat and I!!
Shabby, you need to continue doing this incredible job. Your country and the world will etch your name in history as the one that brought change to a country, that previously existed, known as Pakistan. Now it is a small country called West Punjab!!
Note:
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2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.
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