My Letter Series – Dear Anti-Firecracker Activists, Diwali Needs To Be Banned

So-called environmental activists like the great Greta Thunberg and even greater Mia Khalifa are proof enough that the environment needs to be saved…from Hindus

So-called environmental activists like the great Greta Thunberg and even greater Mia Khalifa are proof enough that the environment needs to be saved…from Hindus
So-called environmental activists like the great Greta Thunberg and even greater Mia Khalifa are proof enough that the environment needs to be saved…from Hindus

Dear Anti-Firecracker Activists,

When 900 million Hindus in India decide to celebrate Diwali, lighting up the skies with Firecracker Activists, that’s a dangerous precedent being set. Next, they will be taking idols of ALL their gods and goddesses around the different cities in India with no consideration whatsoever for the different minorities that live in those places. They already do? STOP THEM!! It’s bad for the environment (we can think up reasons for that later when someone actually asks us why). More importantly, “this disturbs the communal harmony that exists and hurts the very essence of the secular fabric of the country”. Thank god I read the latest edition of one of India’s leading papers (name withheld partly because of copyright issues but more because of not wanting to give that rag more publicity).

I completely concur with your logic as well as that of the rag mentioned above. No other community damages the environment as much as the Hindus do. Say what you may about the goats sacrificed during the minority festival of Id, the rivers of blood flowing onto the streets supposedly offending the other communities (which we know is blatantly untrue as most Hindus are “secular” by nature and would tolerate one day of celebrations) the end product is a delicacy beyond compare. The tasty mutton biriyani or the mutton curry with Rotis is to die for; quite literally in this case, as the goats die for this delicacy to be cooked. To then blame the above-mentioned minority group for praying on the streets! What’s wrong with that? They feel the need to pray where ever they want! India is a democratic country that has given people the right to pray wherever they choose to, be it their sanctum sanctorum, their home, someone else’s home, or the streets! If they are at a Hindu’s house and feel the urge to pray, the Hindu should bend over backward to accommodate such holy activities. So what if the minority mentioned above doesn’t reciprocate such an activity? Didn’t Gandhi say that “Hindus should be ready to sacrifice their lives but shouldn’t resist any uprising” from said minority? How much of what this Great Man said has the Hindu imbibed? Apparently not much!! While the previous generations MAY have learned something from Gandhi (although that’s debatable), the current generation seems to be of the opinion that “if you are slapped on one cheek, slap the slapper on both his/ her cheeks”! What cheek!!

In the case of another minority group in India, it is pointed out (at least here in the US of A) that one of the animals is going to kiss its life goodbye during Christmas. Then the detractors point out the environmental hazard that candles cause. Apparently, it’s not healthy to light candles in churches, as candles have carcinogenic ingredients that harm the environment and cause cancer. What a bunch of crap!!! Whosoever said this, HAS TO BE A HINDU! No one else would come up with such delusional statements. Don’t they understand that scientists would have pointed out this disastrous effect if it was really true! They did? They must be Hindu scientists!! They weren’t Hindu scientists? Anyways, what do scientists know???

Fighting for the environment is the right thing to do, especially during Diwali. The people that revolted against your request should understand the need for a fire-cracker-free Diwali; one where people would light candles (not diyas) and sit inside their houses. Socializing and wishing each other “Happy Diwali” can be done via the phone, although using cell phones is also an environmental and health hazard.

Some genius scientist, another Hindu for sure, said the WiFi radiations cause cancer! Really? What next? Microwaves, the gadgets in our kitchen, are dangerous to our health? They are? Whaddayaknow!! That CAN’T BE a Hindu scientist that detected that! Hindu scientists will never make a sensible statement(s). Driving around in cars with gas tanks filled to the brim is bad for the environment. You all are geniuses for making this statement. After all, people need to understand that the weather system is changing; winters are becoming gradually hotter while summers (well, I was going to say summers are getting colder but that’s not true) are getting, even more, hotter (is that grammatically correct? Who cares, I live in the US of A where, to most people, once you speak to them, you’d realize English IS a foreign language to the inhabitants of my country)! People should start planting more trees so we get more oxygen. Spend the money you’d spend on firecrackers buying plants, seeds, and the likes. Didn’t that great philosopher, Amir Khan, opine that “spending 20 Rs on a glass of milk to pour on a Shiv Ling is a waste of money. Feed a needy child with the same money”!

Coming back to the point, environmental activists like the great Greta Thunberg and even greater Mia Khalifa are proof enough that the environment needs to be saved…from Hindus. Let me put the last part in a more politically correct way: ESPECIALLY THE GOD-FORSAKEN HINDUS!!! This community needs to be finished in India. Actually, we don’t need to do anything. The Hindus themselves are committing suicide. We have just got to play Jack Kevorkian (if you don’t know, google and find out who this humanitarian was) and assist the Hindus in killing themselves. This way, we benefit in two ways: we exterminate the Hindus and, more importantly, NO MORE HINDUS, NO MORE DIWALI, AND FIREWORKS. Oops, forgot that we do have fireworks here in the USA (July 4th). Now, some senators want Diwali to be a national holiday in the US of A??? What next? The senators will be walking around in the senate, feeding each other pedas and laddus!! Oh lord, just when we were about to get Diwali out of our calendars, these senators decided to do this!! Is this what we’re paying them to do? If this continues, all I can say is God Bless The USA!!!!

Note:
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

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Kumar Sridhar is a full time IT professional who is also a blogger,columnist and an avid sports fan! He lives with his family in New Jersey, USA.

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