My New Letter Series – Dear Kattar Hindu, Stop Being Such A P.I.T.A (Pain In The…)

The fact that we don’t have a solid understanding, and can only infer from what we have (or in some cases, have NOT) read leads us to believe in so many things

Kumar Sridhar

December 22, 2022

The fact that we don’t have a solid understanding, and can only infer from what we have (or in some cases, have NOT) read leads us to believe in so many things

Dear kattar Hindu,

After all, people are expected to be “Secular”. By people, I mean the majority! Like here in the USA, Caucasians are apologetic about being, well, Caucasian; they go out of their way to look anything but…sun-bathing (either at the beach, pool-side or in one of those sunbathing machines) to get tanned, like the rest of us, acting and talking like our African American friends and doing everything they can to be accepted by us (the suffering minority)!! The point is, the majority in India SHOULD believe that they are THE ONLY people that are expected to be “Secular”. Before you tell me that my choice of the word “Secular” is wrong, let me say this: YOU ARE WRONG! I say Secular because the majority should, like the government, NOT allow religion or religious beliefs to interfere with their daily lives, such as work, personal lives, and of course entertainment. Movies like Pathan, LSC, and PK are just that, movies! They show the “fabric of this secular country”! I mean, how do you find fault with a good guy being called “Pathan Bhai” and the bad guy being called “Ram Singh” or “Kishan Dada”? So what if Kishan Dada is a Brahmin who sports his sacred thread (Janeu) openly?

Anyways, we should greet people of the minority with a greeting from their faith. Wouldn’t it be nice to say “asalam alaikum”, or “Id Mubarak” to someone from the Muslim faith, or “Merry Christmas” to a Christian? Please, don’t tell me that you’re not greeted with a Jai Sri Ram, or a “Happy Diwali”! Such kattar Hindus, all of you!! Why are you, to use the Indian National Congress’s (haters call it INDIAN NATIONAL KHANGRESS or the INK), “trying to destroy the nation’s Secular fabric”? Don’t ask me to explain what that means. It is a little too complicated for you kattar Hindus. Please stop learning this from the good-for-nothing Jewish people!! As I have mentioned before, in my older articles, self-respect is NOT as important as maintaining, yep you read my mind, “the nation’s secular fabric”! Didn’t M K Gandhi (M K is NOT Mushtaq Kareem, so please stop) show us that self-respect is second (or tenth) in ranking and not as important as non-violence and groveling? Haven’t all y’all learned anything from him??

So, a few people from the minorities killed a few girls; so what if these girls were Hindus? I mean, why bring religion into something so pure and divine as marriage? I would ask my wife to accept my religion too!! Wait, she’s already a Hindu! Scratch that thought!! But, you get what I’m saying? Good, at least someone gets it! The point is, we don’t need to demean purity and love with communalism and talk about murders!!

Intolerance is NOT needed when India is reeling under all the economic conditions. You all should be ashamed of yourselves!! You will definitely be reborn and will have to live your next life as a worm, per Hindu belief!! Rebirth!! What nonsense! We should think about living in heaven, where we will have the opportunity to “socialize” with 72 gorgeous babes!! So what if they’re 135 feet tall?? You do know how to use a ladder!! Or did you want to end up in hell where you’re going to be roasted over a fire, hanging with a chain put through your rear-end and coming out of your mouth!!! I don’t think you want this!!!

The Hindu concept of hell doesn’t make any sense!! This is because some people believe in life after death, meaning a person comes back to the earth to right any wrongs that (s)he may have done (doesn’t sound like the English are correct, but what the hell, I’m in America and English can take a long walk on a short boardwalk)!! Others believe there is a place called Nark (non-Indian readers [the ONE person who had read ONE article I had written] don’t even try to pronounce this. You’ll end up calling it Naark or worse Naerk!) that has people there!! Hindus, make up your mind!! Either we go to Nark or we are reborn!!

The fact that we don’t have a solid understanding, and can only infer from what we have (or in some cases, have NOT) read leads us to believe in so many things! I’m still talking about life after death! Like the case of M K Gandhi who, if the INC were to be believed, went straight into the heavens!! And why shouldn’t he? He was the MOST peaceful person, didn’t hurt anyone nor creatures, and was instrumental in uniting all people, regardless of caste nor creed! He was a divinity who came to earth! I have seen some people claiming he was one of Vishnu’s avatars!! He probably was!! He will never be reborn as he was GOODNESS AMPLIFIED (some people, I am sure, are saying “Thank God” or “thank you, MKG”). So what if MKG experimented with “truth”? I mean, just the word “experimenting” shouldn’t throw us off! People wrote to me (okay one person, and I’m not going below that count) saying “experimenting with the truth” means he didn’t believe it worked! The truth was a hypothesis, per these “people”! That’s so wrong! I mean, saying that! Some things are better left unsaid, my friend(s).

Anyways, enough pontificating; and before I close this article, pigs do fly!!

Note:
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

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