My New Letter Series – Dear Indu, The Inclusion (And Misinterpretation) Of The Word “Secular” In The Constitution Was A Stroke Of Genius!

Indu, your older daughter-in-law got the entire INC wrapped around her middle finger, which she shows to the people that question her authority

Indu, your older daughter-in-law got the entire INC wrapped around her middle finger, which she shows to the people that question her authority
Indu, your older daughter-in-law got the entire INC wrapped around her middle finger, which she shows to the people that question her authority

Dear Indu,

When you became the Prime Minister of India (1966), there were many who were skeptical of your capabilities. Old fogies like S Nijalingappa (SN), K Kamaraj (KK), and others really didn’t know the cold-hearted manliness in you. For cryin’ out loud, the President of the US&A, Richard Nixon, knew that you had it in you to survive, and win, in a man’s world. I don’t want to repeat what he said, but it was something SN and KK should have recognized when Prime Minister Lal Bahadur Shastri died. ‘Nuff said!

Cut to 10 years later when, as Prime Minister, you declared an Emergency in the country. There really was no reason for it, but you used your executive powers to declare it anyway. Once you had all the major leaders, and some of the opposition members of parliament, under custody, you then did something that has changed this country forever. YES, forever, Indu! You added the word “Secular” into the constitution. Yeah, why was it, Indu, that you wanted this country to be secular? Was it that the Hindus were not pluralistic enough? Or was it that the Hindus were overwhelmingly demanding? Or was it just insecurity? For a person that was appreciated by Nixon in some not so polite terms, I can’t imagine YOU being insecure. It had to be something else. These questions are, now, rhetorical and I will be answering these questions (since you can’t).

Secularism meant that there was going to be a separation between State and Religion. This was awesome. No more would the Hindu Mahasabha, VHP, RSS, Jan Sangh, and other Hindu organizations be allowed to thrive politically. Good move, Indu (Can I call you Indu? Mrs. Gandhi sounds so cold and formal). So, anyway, where was I? Aaah, secularism. So, when a country becomes secular, and I’m sure you agree with my surmise, the government doesn’t, as per the definition of secular, care whether a person is a Muslim, a Hindu, Christian, or any other community. That means, Indu, that there would be NO communities that would be automatic members of the Minority Group! Then, why is it that your daughter-in-law, and The Most Esteemed and Proud Wife of Rajiv Gandhi, Sonia created this minority department? Let’s not get technical, Indu. We all know she had her hand up Manmohan’s backside, directing him to do exactly what she wanted. She set up this ministry in 2006. Per this ministry, the minorities are defined as Sikhs, Christians, Muslims, and a few other sects (no, this doesn’t include the Jews residing in India, and the reason is known to all of us). The funny thing, Indu, is that the Minister allocated to this ministry has ALWAYS been a Muslim. Never seen a Christian, Sikh nor any other community! It’s probably because the Muslim community has been the most vociferous. Even though they’re nearing 20% of the population, they still want to be considered a minority.

Indu, here’s a funny bit of statistics. In Lakshadweep, Hindus are 2% of the population while Muslims comprise 98%. In Mizoram, 3% of the population is Hindu while 97% of the population is Christian. In the state of Meghalaya, the Hindu population is 11%. Likewise in the states of Punjab and Nagaland. However, the Hindus are CONSIDERED a majority while the actual majority is considered a minority and given minority benefits!!!! Even funnier is that a majority of the Hindu population ACTUALLY VOTED FOR, and re-elected us (the Indian National Congress) again in 2009. The same Hindus that didn’t say a word (or maybe they just didn’t want to realize) about the whole minority situation. We made them ROYAL SUCKERS again!!

I’m sure you must be wondering, why I said “We” and “Us” rather than “You”. Good observation, Indu! You see, I have decided to become just like members of the INC. When I see a winner, I join them. When I saw the BJP in 2014, I decided to back them (did that in 2019 too. The way YOUR grandkids are running the INC, there will be, what Michael Jordan called, a Threepeat and I will be backing them 2024). This way, I am always a winner. I learned this from the various political parties that today form the opposition.

Indu, your grandkids are probably the only ones who remember you. Your granddaughter walks around telling people that she has your nose. Unfortunately, it ends there. Your grandson is a different “animal”. His intellect, or lack of it, leaves people confused. Does he know what he says, or is he saying whatever he says to create a sensation? Who knows? Your grandson from Sanjay, Varun, takes after his mother. Thank god! It may be because you had banned them from coming into your house, once Sanjay passed. But that’s neither here nor there.

Indu, in order for the INC to get back to “Leading the way for the lost souls”, they need a catchy phrase. Garibi Hatao has lost its effectiveness. I mean, after 50 years, it needs something new. How about if we say “Garib Hatao”? Wait, Sanjay did that in the 70s, running over people in the Connaught Place area. I know! Let’s call it, “Phir Se, Garib Hatao” and take those poor suckers in Rajasthan and the other states, that were fortunate enough to vote for you, and eliminate them. This way, two goals are achieved: Population control and eliminating the poor! In addition, we can also do what Sanjay had done in the 70s to help population control. Yep, let’s take all those poor people and inject them with injections that would guarantee their infertility for life.

Indu, your older daughter-in-law would have made you wonder if you were a soft woman, in comparison. She’s got the entire INC wrapped around her middle finger, which she shows to the people that question her authority. You’d done everything else, but you didn’t show people that dreaded middle finger. In the end, all that counts Indu is how many people do we have within the Parliament. At this point, it doesn’t look good. If Rahul and Priyanka continue campaigning, it might get…worse, but who’s going to tell them! They’re the “OWNERS” of the INC, not the people. People are just there to, get this, take advantage of all the money being thrown around by the INC, and then go vote for the BJP. I guess, IT IS PAYBACK TIME.

Note:
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

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