My Letter Series – Dear Immi, Insha Allah, The Boys Played Well

Immi, keep doing what you’ve been doing for past 3 years (being a fool). It is working!

My Letter To - Dear Immi, Insha Allah, The Boys Played Well
My Letter To - Dear Immi, Insha Allah, The Boys Played Well

Dear Immi,

Immi, it was great seeing you addressing the august United Nations General Assembly. You looked confident, handsome, and charming as ever. When you said the Taliban are just normal people like “You and I”, you were absolutely right. They’re as educated as any graduate of Oxford and have the common sense that goes with the alumni of this “esteemed” institution. Their sophistication and tact in handling complex political situations leave the rest of the world surprised. The rest of the world treats them as illiterate and uncultured but, having dealt with them, you’ve seen through their façade.

Although critics (who doesn’t have them; my wife is my biggest critic) said, this was just a rehash of the speeches you gave in 2019 and 2020, they were not correct. Someone even went to the extent of saying, the mark of insanity is to repeatedly do the same thing expecting different results. However, in your favor, as opposed to 2019 (and 2020), this time, you said “RSS” 10 times (as opposed to 3 from the years before), Modi 12 times (as opposed to 6 times previously), Islam 70 times (down from 80), Kashmir 21 times (down from 30), terrorism 23 times (as opposed to 30 previously) and Allah 98 times (as opposed to 15 times previously). How is this a rehash? People just are clueless.

That’s a positive. Pakistan has more..umm, I’m lost Immi; you’ve got to help me here. Oh yeah, Pakistan has more “freedom fighters” than India and Afghanistan combined.

Clueless se yaad aya, the interview that was broadcast on CNN was really enlightening[1]. You gave the American leadership a bad time, telling the host that they (the American leadership) are clueless! That’s so cool! So what if the money that they were getting ready to give you as alms was diverted to some other country? After all, self-respect means a lot, even if the people from your highly esteemed country have to eat grass (I hear that’s the new fad: eat grass, lose weight).

The minister you’d sent to New York, Afridi, was probably the best choice[2]. The Americans knew this guy was the best of the best and decided to strip search him in NYC. This was to humiliate Pakistan and to bring down the respect that you have brought to your esteemed country. All because the minister pointed out the homeless girl in Manhattan, the whole American media, and international media, have made fun of the minister as well as of you!! Why you? It wasn’t like you coached him, although he does seem to reflect your thoughts.

In a conversation with another journalist, you brought up a valid point when you talked about “the balance of power shifting in the region”. People, the world over, laughed asking how one could make the comparison between India and your country. They said India was making its own aircraft carriers, aircraft, tanks, guns, and other armaments while you don’t! They (India) have an economy that’s now $3 trillion; what they forget is that Pakistan has a 3 trillion economy too! So what if that is in Pakistani rupees? So what if the USD is worth 180 PKR? So what if that translates to about $17 billion? So what if that number has come down from $20 billion in 2020? People just don’t see the positives anymore. Positives like poverty have decreased in Pakistan by 5%. Scratch that, Immi, as that’s because the poor in Pakistan have died due to hunger. Umm, let’s see. Pakistan has more scientists than its neighbor. Wait, I’m not talking about India, Immi. I’m talking about Afghanistan! Pakistan has more scientists than Afghanistan. That’s a positive. Pakistan has more..umm, I’m lost Immi; you’ve got to help me here. Oh yeah, Pakistan has more “freedom fighters” than India and Afghanistan combined. So what if they’re wrongly called “terrorists” by the rest of the world.

We have to convince the world that the TA (Taliban Afghanistan) is good (we don’t need to tell them this is because they are not in Pakistan); the TP (Taliban Pakistan) is bad since they are in Pakistan and not Afghanistan. Pakistan has Masood Azhar or Hafeez Syed, “freedom fighters” fighting for Kashmir. So what if they can not speak a word of Dogri and are actually from Sind? So what if the people in “Azad Kashmir” are not really Kashmiris but, Punjabis who have been relocated to “Azad Kashmir”? That’s not a demographic change. Demographic change is Hindus being moved into Jammu and Kashmir. So what if these are the very same Kashmiri Pandits that were driven out of Kashmir in 1989-90 by devoted Muslims (why call them radical Islamic terrorists, when all they did was rape a few thousand Hindu women, and kill a few hundred thousand Hindu men and children)?

Some people in another clueless country, India, keep asking if Azad Kashmir is really Azad, since your favorite slogan in your highly developed country, is “Kashmir Banega Pakistan” (Kashmir will become a part of Pakistan). They keep asking if that’s the case, how does Kashmir become Azad (Free)? What they don’t understand is Kashmiris love subjugation and would want nothing else other than being treated as sub-humans, as long as it’s Pakistan. Who really cares about the development that India is, spending millions of USD, doing within J&K? It’s like the 3 billion USD that they spent in Afghanistan! That investment, by India, has been wasted, since your literate friends from Oxford have taken over the country.

Immi, most Indian people want you to be re-elected, including yours truly! You are like the only thing positive coming, in favor of India, from Pakistan; even if you didn’t know or mean it! The bottom line is you’re probably the savior that most people have been asking for..people that would have been asking for a better leader, but considering they’re stuck with you, and Nawaz Sharif is in the UK with NO intention of returning, and Dilawar Bhutto is the product of an ambulance mating with a whale, you’re probably going to get re-elected. That’s good for the people…Indian people, who need a laugh every day after a tiring day’s work. Wait, let me explain what work is: going to another place called the office, listening to someone who calls herself/ himself as YOUR boss and staying there for 8 hours; coming home with a pay-check and ensuring your family’s fed and all bills are paid. Sorry I didn’t remember that the people in your country don’t know any of what I just described. Well, maybe soon, very soon, they’ll realize what they’re missing out on. Till then, they’re stuck..with you, buddy but you have the support of ALL INDIANS..they’re ALL rooting for you. Keep doing what you’ve been doing for the past 3 years. It’s working..in India’s favor.

जय श्रीराम। जय सीयाराम। उत्तिष्ठ भारत। जय माँ भारती

God Bless the USA.

Note:
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

References:

[1] Pakistan PM Imran Khan’s Interview | Separating Fact From Fiction | Taliban News | CNN News18Sep 16, 2021, YouTube

[2] Imran Khan sent Shehryar Afridi to UNGA to speak on Kashmir. But he is vlogging in Times SquareSep 23, 2021, The Print

 

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