Dear American Citizen,
A little over a year ago, the then Prime Minister of Pakistan Imran Khan, AKA Immi, was removed from office. Prior to this, two to three days after the start of the year-long (or more) Russia-Ukraine war, he traveled to Russia. He declared he had worked out a deal, promptly denied by the Russian officials, to get oil at cheap rates! Within weeks, his government had been removed. He blamed the USA for his removal, stating he had proof that the Biden Administration had conspired to throw him out of office. While he has never shown this “proof”, he claims the visit to Russia was the “straw that broke the camel’s back”(I didn’t know one extra straw could break a camel’s back but..) I agree with Immi! The USA IS a country that focuses 18-20 hours a day on what the Prime Minister of Pakistan does, or doesn’t do! After all, it is A VERY IMPORTANT COUNTRY to the whole world and contributes heavily to the global economy, as also the American economy, and population control! Remember Osama and where he was found? That’s how they contribute to population control!! Some get a vasectomy, some get a shot, and others, well…They get shot!! The entire American population spends WAY TOO MUCH TIME TALKING ABOUT PAKISTAN and less about issues that matter, like a failing economy or inflation that peaked, in December 2022, at 6.2%. But, getting back to Immi, when the American forces left Afghanistan in 2022 (or was it 2021?), Immi made sure to let everyone know that “Afghanistan had broken the shackles of Western slavery”! But, that was then.
Cut to April 2023. Remember Immy from 2022? Well, he had a radical change of heart!! From pretty much blaming the good ole US of A for everything from rising gas prices (in that illustrious country) to the bullet wound he suffered (again in that peace-loving country), he went to the other extreme. Everyone’s entitled to a change of heart! I mean, Obama changed his opinions a hundred (if not more) times!! When, you ask? As an example, Obama was the one that gave India’s Prime Minister the visa to enter the US of A; something that his predecessor George Bush Jr had rejected!! Obama recently had a change of heart and blamed (well, pretty much) the aforementioned Prime Minister for divisive politics in India!!! THAT’S A BIG-TIME CHANGE OF HEART!!! But, I digress!
Getting back to Immi, he decided to do some PR work and spoke to Representative Maxine Waters (D-CA), asking (some would call it begging) for her intervention in getting his name in the good books of the Biden administration. After all, he was on Santa’s naughty boys’ list, for his past “indiscretions” and needed someone to bail him out. Enter Ms. Walters!! I’m not sure his pleas made any impression on her as I haven’t heard her say ANYTHING about this former Prime Minister.
The American citizens have way too much money. Let me explain why I say that. When I go to a bank and ask for a loan, let’s assume I want to buy a house, the bank looks at my creditworthiness. That means, will I be able to repay the money!! For those that still didn’t understand, “Yo, ya gotta have money to borrow money”, or “Yo, if you ain’t got no money, you ain’t gettin’ no money”!! We, the US of A, have a debt of about $30 Trillion ( the last time I checked). Obviously, the US government gets its money from its citizens; therefore I say we have too much money!! Got it? Good, I thought I’d have to draw pictures!!
Well, anyways, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) runs on US taxpayers’ money (the US of A is the biggest “contributor” to this “Fund”). The IMF lends money to those countries that are either impoverished or have a few development projects to get done and don’t have the money for it. The US Secretary of Treasury also serves as the Governor of the IMF.
Anyways, many countries have borrowed money from this fund, and most have repaid the loans. NOTE I SAID MOST! Pakistan is one of the few exceptions. When this illustrious and economically well-to-do country initially borrowed money, waaay before I was born, the IMF must have had a party! But, when the country came back to borrow again, to repay JUST THE INTEREST (NOT THE PRINCIPAL), the IMF was left wondering what was happening! This has happened a WHOPPING 23 times!! And, JUST AS AN FYI, they haven’t paid back the initial amount they borrowed! They have been rolling that over repeatedly! So much so, that as I said in the title, we need to rename the IMF as the PMF (Pakistan Monetary Fund). Since the American population does have, like I said earlier, WAAAAAAY TOOOOO MUCH money, we can elect those senators and representatives that will agree to fund Pakistan in ANY WHICH WAY POSSIBLE, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Whether that illustrious country’s army generals use that money to fund their personal luxuries, buy an island near Australia or the politicians decide to use that money to buy property around the world, SHOULD NOT BE OUR PROBLEM.
On an average, the US of A spends A PALTRY $50 Billion funding the IMF/ PMF. That amount fizzles when one sees the accolades and gratitude we get from the thousands of people pouring out into the streets of Islamabad shouting pro-American slogans! What, those are anti-American???
Imagine the warm hearts WE, THE CITIZENS OF THE US of A, would have watching someone sitting in a plane, coming to NYC from Islamabad, Pakistan! Shouts praising his god, sometimes wrongly mistaken for a war cry, would definitely warm our hearts! So what if the same person was cursing the US of A, when (s)he was in Pakistan? The US gave her/ him a visa to come and settle in the US of A!! Once here, the person quickly adapts to the local needs; figuring out how to circumvent tax laws, how to apply for welfare, how to get benefits that the normal citizen would never even qualify for, and much more!! Getting a job is a given but that’s NOT AT THE TOP OF THE LIST!! The person’s second task is to find the local place of worship, where (s)he can meet with other people from her/ his wonderful country. Within a few weeks, the person has become so well versed with local current issues, the person joins groups of people demonstrating against/ for certain issues!! ISN’T THAT ADORABLE!! We, the citizens of the US of A, need more such people in OUR COUNTRY!! Self-respect is way overrated and is of no use to any American citizen!!
GOD BLESS THE USA.
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.
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- My New Letter Series – Dear Pakistani “Intellectuals”, Burning Churches While Talking About Global Issues - August 20, 2023
- My New Letter Series – Dear PM Shabby (Shehbaz), Al Hamdu Krishna, You Can Buy The Castle In The South Of France - July 24, 2023
- My New Letter Series – Dear American Citizen, Let’s Rename The IMF As The PMF - July 3, 2023