Dear Mr. President Joe Biden,
It’s been a little over 7 months since you became President of The United States of America. Some of the assertions that were made, during your campaign just over 9 months ago, by some foolish Indian supporters of yours, you and Yengala Chitti, now need to be ratified. Oh, I forgot, Kamala has yet to teach you Tamil! Your first Tamil lesson from yours truly: Yengala – (roll your tongue while pronouncing the L) Our: Chitti – aunt (younger sister of the mother; yep, Tamil, like other Indian languages, has different words for different types of relationships, but let’s not go there). I will, as a form of full disclosure, let you know that Chitti is not from “my native” (in other words she and I don’t share neighbors in whatever village/town/city her mother came from). In fact, I’m not even from that state! How do I know Tamil, you ask? Good question Joe (May I call you Joe?)! I know you don’t hear too many people saying “good question Joe” but it is! To answer your question, Joe, it’s too long an answer! Maybe one of these days you and I can meet for an early bird special and I will give you the whole story!! You’ve got to foot the bill Joe, but I promise I will bring all the coupons that we can use there!! Or better still, let’s go to the local Adyar Bhavan where we can eat Dosai and some Tayir Sadam with some manga tokku! To die for, Joe!!
Before we get into assertions, let me help you with something. During a predominantly Indian (Hindus are 80% of the population in India) meeting that you addressed, you used “Insha Allah” more than once! While Hindus are pluralistic in attitude, we are still Hindus! I know, I know none of those in the crowd objected! It’s like me saying Happy Hanukkah to you, knowing your Islamic leaning! The two just don’t go together, Joe! When in doubt, Joe, just say “God Willing”, although that might offend your next Secretary of State, Ms. Omar! Tony Blinken isn’t really cutting it, what with his very serious no-nonsense attitude towards Muslim countries and his friendly overtures towards India! India, of all the countries!!! Ilhan is way better with her posturing and rants, sorry rhetoric about everything non-Islamic and Jewish/ Hindu people.
I will continue and you can join me, once you get out of the vicious loop you’re in! Articles 370/35A, Joe!
Now, Joe (remember I asked you for permission to call you Joe? No? I can understand! Look above and you will see the question. Just don’t start reading again or we will be in one BIG vicious cycle Joe!), with regard to some of those statements, made by you, Chitti or your band of Desi supporters, Joe! No, Joe, that’s not Desi like in Desi Arnaz but pronounced more like Daisy!!!
One of your supporters said we shouldn’t care what your feelings are toward India! After all, you are President of the US of A, not India! Fair enough! But Joe, why would you bring all your Indian media management team to Indian gatherings where you addressed them with the Insha Allah! Didn’t these geniuses tell you that Not all Indians are Muslims? Apparently not! So Joe, if you do bring Indian media management people to an Indian meeting, it is obvious you are playing with our emotions toward India, No? Confused Joe? PLEASE DON’T START READING FROM THE TOP!! Joe? Oh no!!!
I will continue and you can join me, once you get out of the vicious loop you’re in! Articles 370/35A, Joe! These are a part of the INDIAN CONSTITUTION, Joe, not the American constitution which we, as American citizens, can object to! Now let me explain to you how this works Joe. I have explained these articles below so try to stay with the flow, Joe (hey, that rhymes)!
Articles 370/35A apply to a state in India called Jammu & Kashmir in India (Like Delaware and the other 51 states in the USA, Joe). Now, let’s assume for a minute that the illegal Mexicans were given citizenship to Texas and would be considered native to Texas, while also retaining their Mexican creds! Since Texas is a part of the USA, these Mexicans would be guaranteed American citizenship and could pretty much be anywhere in the USA without being illegal (you should have been Secretary of Education AOC is probably dreaming of that right now!!!) Let’s also assume that ONLY those who are native to Texas are allowed to buy houses within Texas (in addition to anywhere else in the country), while you and I are not even allowed to entertain that thought! Would you go for it, Joe? I am sure I saw your eyes light up so you understood my point! Good job, Joe!! That’s how these articles benefitted Pakistan (India and Pakistan are neighbors Joe). Please show this paragraph to your next Ambassador to Pakistan, Rohit Khanna, who we fondly call Ro Khan!
Speaking of Pakistan (Don’t roll your eyes, Joe! It’s not decent to do that when you don’t know what I’m about to say! I could say it should be your next vacation spot, especially Islamabad, I hear it’s really nice year around) India and this country have fought four wars! That a country that has been at the losing end in all these four wars and still wants to fight shows how resilient a bunch they are! They still want to fight and have now gotten friendly with your son’s employers! However, the two are fighting a losing war! Your son’s employers are internationally disgraced while their lapdog is still trying to show the world, that their economy is better than Rwanda. That’s a country, a tiny country but still a country in Africa, Joe! So tiny, that you could drive through it without knowing you were in Rwanda!
Joe, now on to the CAA that you opposed without thinking about it! Frank Lautenberg had asked for a similar law, which was passed by Congress, and is now known as the Lautenberg Amendment. If that’s legitimate, so’s CAA! If Ro Khan’s adopted country, Pakistan, claims that Muslims in India are being persecuted against, why are they fighting to stay in India, Joe? Makes one think, huh Joe!
Let’s take a look at Afghanistan, Joe. A country that we (the American citizens) wanted to leave, once Bin Laden was killed. We didn’t! You made the right choice in leaving all those weapons to the Afghan military. How were you to know that the same Afghan military that you had trained would fold like a cheap house of cards? How were you to know that the Pakistanis don’t roll your eyes, Joe!) would create another group called the ISIS-K?
How were you to know, umm, what was I going to say? Age is fast catching up with me, I lost my chain of thought!! You know what I’m going thro’ Joe!
Now the next thing you need to do is to ensure that “the wall” that The Don was talking about is NEVER built! Mexicans are always welcome in the USA. After all, our population is still the third most! We need to be first there too, Joe!! Let’s try and bring as many people in from Mexico and other Latin American countries as possible to make our country THE MOST POPULOUS country in the world.
Joe, you are always welcome to call me and get any clarifications you might need as your media management team is doing an incredible job confusing you! And Joe, I will be sending you more words to memorize to impress Chitti.
Take care of yourself Joe and don’t forget your medicines!
God Bless The USA
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.
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