My New Letter Series – Dear Pakistani (Un)Educated Media, A Serious Heart To Heart With Those Of You That Know & Understand English Conclusion

Dear Pakistani Media, here’s a continuation of what all you should, and DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT do

Dear Pakistani Media, here’s a continuation of what all you should, and DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT do
Dear Pakistani Media, here’s a continuation of what all you should, and DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT do

The previous 1 part of the article can be accessed here Part 1. This is the 2 part

Dear Pakistani Media,

Here’s a continuation of what all you should, and DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT, do. If (IF) you read the previous letter, I had written to you, you probably understand, by now, that there are a whole lot of issues that you need to take care off. Unfortunately, that list is not complete; there’s absolutely no way of completing the list, in a letter of about 1000 words. So, as an added bonus, I am telling you, in this (obviously incomplete) list of what all you need to do and what all YOU MUST STAY AWAY FROM!

Learn English: I understand English is a very difficult language, especially for people that have studied at the PIT (Pakistan Institute of Technology, AKA Madrasa) but given this, as per your OWN admission, is a global village, it would be beneficial to start learning to speak English (by the way, it is English and NOT Anglish, as your Punjabi brethren seem to think). While learning this language, please remember the following:

  1. It is SCHOOL, not Sakool, and DEFINITELY NOT ESAKOOL (Sounds like It’s so cool but it definitely isn’t).

2. It is SUPPORT (what we give), not SPORT.

3. Likewise, it is SPORT (what we play), NOT SUPPORT.

4. It’s Cricket, NOT KIRKIT.

5. It’s RAAW, not RAAH.

6. It’s So-lution not SLUTION.

There are many other words in English, that you pronounce giving the English a jolt (like you DON’T LEFT A PLACE, you LEAVE A PLACE). You’re basically doing to the English language, what the English did to united Pre-1947 India.

Read: The first phrase, I am told, in your Holiest of Holy books is Ikrah (Read). THAT, YOU DEFINITELY have read; you haven’t read anything after or in any other book. Case in point, Article 370. Each one of you has a unique interpretation of this article. I have to admit I do sometimes get surprised, sometimes confused but definitely DO GET A LAUGH at how each one of you thinks the article has to do with the liberties of the Kashmiri people. I am not going to sit here and explain what the article was all about, but would DEFINITELY ask you to READ. 35-A is all about TRIPLE NATIONALITY (Yep, not DUAL nationality). Residents of Kashmir could travel, marry someone from Pakistan and that person would be given the same status and respect that Kashmiri residents had. Now, TRIPLE must be confusing to you. This means, that the Kashmiri resident also was an Indian citizen but could marry a Pakistani (and make the Pakistani a Kashmiri and, by deduction, an Indian resident. Resident, NOT CITIZEN. Remember, India DOES NOT ALLOW DUAL CITIZENSHIP. Let’s see if your country allows such laws to be passed.

Live Within Your Means: Imported cars coming in to Pakistan while people are supposedly lining up for wheat! What for? If you have money, then WHY are you standing outside the IMF doors waiting for hand-outs? IF you don’t have money, then what exactly are the luxury cars doing in your country? I understand, the rich, super rich ministers and army officials need cars that show their status, but that definitely isn’t your country’s actual status! Think about this: A SUPER RICH (don’t ask me how the person got rich) minister drives up to the IMF offices in a stretch bylimousine, asking for a dole out! The IMF would laugh the minister out of their offices!!!

Stop flying out to different countries, like Turkey, every time something occurs (like an earthquake, swearing in or coronation). Your presence there shows your country is wasting money in flying around the world. A Frugal person (sorry, I forgot you have a problem understanding. Frugality means, unfortunately, I don’t know how to dumb this down, so again, look it up in the English-Urdu translator), shows the world (s)he is trying to economize and save a few dollars. Your PM flies out to Turkey to attend the swearing in of the President, while your Minister of State, for Foreign Affairs, attends a meeting with the Russian diplomats with JUST ONE person who was supposedly taking notes! This, at a meeting where your country was supposedly requesting Russia to supply oil to your country!! By the way, how does your country plan to pay for this oil? Trade is NOT an option since you DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY! Barter (exchanging goods for oil) is probably an option EXCEPT you don’t manufacture, or grow, a thing that Russia needs (except for home-grown terrorists. That you have in plenty!!).

STOP POINTING AT INDIA & THE US of A: Not everything that happens in your country is America’s doing. YOU burned your cities (buildings and all) down! It wasn’t America’s fault. So, instead of saying “ Yeh America ki saazish ha” (this is a conspiracy hatched by the US of A), or “Endia ki saazish ha” (this is a conspiracy hatched by India), start looking inside your OWN country. India and The US of A could be least bothered whether you burn your cities, states, army vehicles, planes individually, or ALL of them together. Truth be told, they might supply you the matches to light these up but ..anyways, the two countries are involved in more important things like economical growth and improving the quality of life for their citizens.

Stop Talking about Jazba: I mentioned this in my previous letter, but this deserves to be mentioned again! Your jazba (passion) hasn’t gotten you anything, except the hatred from ALL OTHER COUNTRIES, including your own Muslim Ummah. Think about it! The passion present in the Indian people DOESN’T exist within your country nor can you EVER match it! If it did, you would make sure you WERE NOT STANDING at the IMF waiting for hand-outs!!! Talk is cheap! Talking about having Jazba will vanish when faced with crises (situations that are difficult, for you “Professors of Anglish”) like a lack of food or drinking water! The Jazba that the Indians have is EXACTLY WHY they are now the 5th largest economy and quickly heading up to the 4th and then 3rd. The desire to see their children do extremely well in education is the only Jazba they needed to eat two meals a day rather than three, but ensure their kids got the best of education!! That Jazba is now seen in various organisations where Indians are either CEOs or in top leadership positions! Your Jazba has also gotten your children and people in top leadership positions, in organizations like the Jaish E Mohammed, Lashkar E Toiba and all the organisations that your “establishment “ has funded over the years!!

Stop Talking About India’s Large Population: As I mentioned in my previous article, for every question asked in regards to “Endia itni trakki kyon kar rahi hai our hum nahi” (by the way it is Tarakki and NOT Trakki. This translates to “why is India developing while we are not”), your standard answer is “Unki abadi badi ha” (they have a big population). Okay, let’s go with that. Bangladesh, a country that had enough of your country, broke away from Pakistan. The joke, when talking about a useless person, was “woh ek taka ka aadmi nahi ha” (The person is not worth a taka (Bangladeshi currency)). That taka that you were joking about is worth nearly 3 of your PKR!! Their population is less than you and have developed WAY MORE than you!! I guess the joke’s on you!! Explain that!!

Stop Talking About Resources (that don’t exist): You claim that “Pakistan vasailos se mala maal ha” (Pakistan is loaded with natural resources). NOT TRUE!! Balochistan (an independent country that you annexed) has natural resources. Likewise, Gilgit Baltistan. The real Pakistan (Pakistani Punjab) has FREE LOADERS (meaning people who sit and eat while others work)! Your natural resources WILL vanish once the Baluchs claim their country and Gilgit Baltistan reunites with India. Think about this: India’s Punjab produces enough food (along with a host of other states) to feed the entire Indian population. India got 1/3 of united Punjab while you got 2/3. Your Punjab is barren land (YOU MADE IT BARREN). Indian Punjabis (Sikhs and non-Sikhs) are hard-working, sincere and patriotic people; your Punjab…the less said, the better.

Like I mentioned in my previous article, if you DO follow these guidelines, your country WILL PROBABLY see better days; If you don’t, well, you will continue to stand outside the IMF doors waiting for hand-outs.

I just heard that the atta lines (wheat lines) in Zaman Park (where Immi lives) is much shorter and you can get in and out in less than 2 hours! Get there in a hurry, will ya!!

1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

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Kumar Sridhar is a full time IT professional who is also a blogger,columnist and an avid sports fan! He lives with his family in New Jersey, USA.
Kumar Sridhar


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